


A Lively Game

by Mrs_ZombieOctopus



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Board Games, Carry On Quarantine, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Kisses, M/M, Oneshot, Quarantine, Swearing, look dudez its just a crazy ass uno game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23558707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_ZombieOctopus/pseuds/Mrs_ZombieOctopus
Summary: Simon, Baz, Penny, and Shepard are all stuck in their flat together during quarantine. They want to play a board game so Simon suggests Twister. Penny says no. Shepard has a better idea. :)
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 53
Kudos: 176
Collections: Carry On Collection - Quarantine Edition





	A Lively Game

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Phangirling_is_my_passion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phangirling_is_my_passion/gifts).



> hi hi! this is for the carry on quarantine round robin that the super cool and very gucci [@xivz](https://xivz.tumblr.com/) put together and i really really appreciate it because signing up for this literally forced me to get some writing done and it was actually FUN to write so thank youuuuu. 
> 
> my prompt was 'Board Games'

“Shepard! Penny! C’mere for a sec,” Simon yelled from the living room.

Shepard paused the show on his phone and poked his head out from the kitchen. “Sup?”

Penny’s door then swung open and she, too, poked her head out. “Yeah?”

“I’m bored as shit and Baz isn’t paying attention to me so let’s play a game or something!” 

Shepard grabbed the chips he had been snacking on off the counter and headed into the living room, nodding. “Yeah, sounds good. What are our options?”

Penny came up behind Shepard and snatched the chips away from him before flopping down in the plush armchair next to the couch. “The games are in there,” Penny pointed, “but Simon puts them away so horribly that they’ll probably all fall out and attack you the second you try to open it. Be warned, Shepard.” 

Simon tried to defend himself but Penny just looked at him. His mouth snapped close. Shepard smiled as he crouched down and opened the small cabinet that was underneath the coffee table in the living room, snorting when he saw how unorganized and crammed together the games were.

They were going on week three of the ‘Stay at Home’ quarantine crisis and even with four young adults stuffed into an apartment really only meant for two, they were trying to make the best of it. Penny and Baz still had online assignments for their uni classes and Simon was working through recipes for culinary school, which resulted in a lot of weird but strangely tasty meals, all things considered. Shepard was supposed to be on his way home to Omaha but with all the corona-craziness and risk of infection, he really didn’t want to get on an international flight and chance bringing anything back to his parents. So. 

“Uh let’s see, you guys have Jenga, Battleship--”

Simon yawned, “Ehh I’m too lazy to set up the tower and I want all four of us to play so Battleship’s a no.”

Simon was hanging upside down, legs bent over the top of the couch, trying to bother Baz who was sitting cross-legged on the floor next to him. Simon poked Baz’s cheek with his tongue and snickered when Baz made a face and distractedly tried to push the other boy away, continuing to type on his laptop.

Shepard kept reading off games, “Scrabble, Twister--”

“Yes! Twister!” said Simon excitedly, a huge grin on his bright red face as he sat up and immediately tried to shake the dizziness away. 

And at the exact same time Penny shuddered and said, “No, absolutely not,” looking thoroughly grossed out. 

Shepard’s interest was piqued. There had to be a story there. 

“Why no Twister?” Shepard asked, looking from Penny to Simon.

Without looking up from his laptop, Baz snorted. 

Penny glared at Baz, who still wasn’t paying attention, and then at Simon who was now perched on the arm of the couch with his arms crossed, pouting. 

Penny directed her gaze back to Shepard, glasses glinting in the afternoon light. “Well, Shepard,” she said, matter-of-factly, “in the past three times I have allowed Twister to be played in this flat, our friends Simon and Basil here take it upon themselves to play seriously until one or both of them are in a very compromising position and then they immediately give up and get halfway to shagging on the bloody Twister mat.”

Shepard burst out laughing and then slapped a hand to his mouth, trying and failing to muffle the sound as Penny narrowed her eyes irritatedly. 

“It’s not funny, Shepard! This is a communal living space that needs to be respected and not  _ defiled _ when those two horny arseholes decide to make a bloody children’s game extremely inappropriate!”

Shepard was still laughing as he looked over at Simon who was scowling at Penny, flushed red in embarrassment. Baz appeared more or less unaffected as he continued to work but with most of his hair pulled into a messy bun atop his head, Shepard could see the tips of his ears had gone pink. 

“Come on, Pennyyyyyy,” Simon whined with pleading eyes, “We haven’t played in forever and now Shepard’s here so we can play even rounds! And I promise me ‘nd Baz will keep our hands to ourselves this time, right Baz?” Simon nudged Baz’s shoulder with his foot and looked at him expectantly. 

Baz finally looked up from his laptop, met his boyfriend’s stare, and then raised his eyebrows doubtfully, as if to say  _ yeah right.  _

Simon made an indignant sound and pushed Baz again with his foot but Baz just shook his head and went back to his assignment. “I’m staying out of this.”

Penny scoffed and pointed an accusatory finger, “You’re 50% of the problem, Basil, you can’t just ‘stay out of it’.”

Baz smirked at his screen, grey eyes bright with amusement. He knocked his elbow against Simon’s calf. “Bunce doesn’t seem to be budging on this one, Snow. Best to drop it.” 

Simon huffed and let himself fall onto the couch with a  _ wumph _ . His face was squished in the cushions so his words came out muffled. “Ugh, fine. Whatever. We’ll play something else.” 

Baz clicked a few things on his laptop, closed it, and set it down on top of the coffee table. 

“Prat,” Baz said fondly before grabbing Simon’s leg and yanking, hard. Simon yelped and fell off the couch, landing in Baz’s open arms. Simon adjusted himself so he was sitting upright in Baz’s lap, mumbled something about ‘stupid vampire strength’, and then happily slid his arms around Baz’s neck. 

Baz kissed a curl on Simon’s forehead and then loudly addressed the room, “If Bunce says no to Twister with her and Shep, then I suppose Simon and I will have to play Twister later tonight, in our room, when everyone’s trying to sleep.” 

Simon scolded Baz while failing to keep a cheeky smile off his face, Penny made puking noises, and Shepard laughed so hard that he started choking on the chip he was eating. 

“Ugh,” Penny groaned, burying her hands in her purple hair, “you two are disgusting. And you’re killing Shepard, so I really hope you’re proud of yourselves. Both of your game choosing privileges have been revoked.” 

Simon turned and looked at Penny with wide eyes, “What? How is that fair? Baz said it, not me.”

Penny just sighed. “Remember when I said that Baz was 50% of the problem? Guess who’s the other 50%?”

“. . . I don’t want to guess.”

“Exactly.”

Shepard clumsily sat down on the floor and managed to swallow the chip that almost sent him to a premature grave. He wheezed, “So who’s picking the game then?”

“You pick something, Shepard,” Penny replied, exasperated. “Something that’ll give me the chance to make these barmy gits wish they had never disgraced my poor Twister mat.” 

Shepard pushed up his glasses and grinned. “I know the perfect game.”

***

“Change it to green, change it to green, change it to gr-- AW FUCK YOU AND YOUR BLOODY FUCKING MOTHER THAT WAS STINKING BOLLOCKS!”

“Did-did you just reverse my bloody fucking reverse? Penny, what the fuck is WRONG with you?”

“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and uh, FUCK YOU.”

“Oh you wanna skip my turn? I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP, BUCKO.”

“DUDE, WHAT THE ACTUAL CLOWN ASS FUCKERY WAS THAT? I ONLY HAD ONE CARD 

LEFT, JESUS CHRIST.”

“No, no, no, no, NO I WILL NOT DRAW 4 BLEEDING CARDS IN MY OWN HOME, YOU MANKY MUPPET.”

“I hate you, Shepard. No, I really do.” 

“Merlin’s shit-stained arsehole, how could you change it to blue? How could you? What did I ever do to deserve this level of hatred and betrayal from the man I LOVE?”

“Simon, I am terribly sorry to inform you that you will not be living past the age of 22.”

“YES I KNOW IT’S MY TURN; I’M DRAWING BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY YELLOW CARDS YOU DISGUSTING RAT WANKER.”

“That was absolute piss. PISS, BASILTON.”

“Shit. Fuck. Bitch.” 

“THAT’S IT; I’M KICKING YOU OUT. GO BACK TO THE UNITED STATES OF FUCKING AMERICA FOR ALL I CARE.” 

“I’m going to murder you with your favorite kitchen knife. YOU THINK I WOULDN’T SIMON SNOW? SKIP MY TURN AGAIN, I DARE YOU.” 

“That was a bitch move.”

“Keep it red, keep it red, oh for the love of Crowley keep-- OI YOU LOOKING FOR A FUCKING FIGHT? STAND UP AND FIGHT ME AND I’LL PUT YOUR ARSE RIGHT BACK ON THE GROUND, YA BARMY FUCK.”

“Penelope--and please know I mean this with absolute full offense--fuck you.” 

“TYRANNUS BASILTON GRIMM PITCH IF YOU PUT DOWN ANOTHER DRAW FOUR I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU.”

“You. Are. A. HUGE. Prick.”

“BRO, YOU DID NOT JUST--OH MY FUCKING GOD BRO YOU DID NOT JUST HIT ME WITH A DRAW TWO I--”

“Morgana’s gigantic fucking TITS I WILL END YOUR ENTIRE BLOODLINE.”

“Oh I am SO breaking up with you.”

“SON OF A WEASEL FUCKER.”

It was a very lively game of Uno, to say the least. 

**Author's Note:**

> [come chat w me on tumblr!](https://carryonmylovelies.tumblr.com/)
> 
> i can confidently say from experience that uno games with friends DO get that crazy . . . especially considering those four have all been stuck in an apartment together for almost three weeks . . . there would definitely be blood. also i thought that it would be more fun to just get the profanity-laced dialogue rather than a play-by-play of the game so!! hope it was fun to read! <3
> 
> bazypitchandsimonsnow was super supportive, as always, (love ya theo) and i definitely couldn’t have done it without my friend ashleigh encouraging and comforting my anxious dumbass. she even SANG to me while i was editing omfg i love her so much.


End file.
